You know I love reading all this Nicholas but I also guiltily feel like a spectator, watching as you go through processing all these feels. I understand Mike’s comment above too, I just can’t cope being like that for very long. All this has made me analyze what I do in order to cope, what I do to carry on and I think it mostly boils down to trying my best not to think about it.
I watched the Qatsi trilogy when I was younger and that awareness of human progress and what it would eventually lead to plus all sorts of other late teen angst and too much thinking climaxed with getting put on meds. I managed to stop thinking and “get on with life” and be a good little capitalist productive worker until too much thinking again got me so worried that I quit everything and started “farming”.
Now I also do my best to not think about it too much but that has become incredibly hard since everyday I spend so much time in nature and I get to see the car crash happening in real time.
I don’t know what this comment was meant to lead to, just that I’ve gotten great comfort in some ways from reading your thoughts but that angsty teen in the background is starting to grumble about being heard again.
You know I love reading all this Nicholas but I also guiltily feel like a spectator, watching as you go through processing all these feels. I understand Mike’s comment above too, I just can’t cope being like that for very long. All this has made me analyze what I do in order to cope, what I do to carry on and I think it mostly boils down to trying my best not to think about it.
I watched the Qatsi trilogy when I was younger and that awareness of human progress and what it would eventually lead to plus all sorts of other late teen angst and too much thinking climaxed with getting put on meds. I managed to stop thinking and “get on with life” and be a good little capitalist productive worker until too much thinking again got me so worried that I quit everything and started “farming”.
Now I also do my best to not think about it too much but that has become incredibly hard since everyday I spend so much time in nature and I get to see the car crash happening in real time.
I don’t know what this comment was meant to lead to, just that I’ve gotten great comfort in some ways from reading your thoughts but that angsty teen in the background is starting to grumble about being heard again.
The weight of this way of working would be beyond my capacity. Enjoyed reading this, though.